The Proust Questionnaire: Get to Know Felisha Kay

Hey there!

For those of you who may not know me, I’m Felisha Kay, a relationship strategist and life coach. I believe we should all be living our best lives and not settling for anything less. Through my coaching, I help women level up in life and love, and finally start living the life they desire and deserve.

As a relationship strategist, I sometimes use the Proust Questionnaire to get to know my clients better. I also find that going through the process of answering these questions, helps people understand themselves better.

The Proust Questionnaire is named after French writer Marcel Proust and was popularized in the English-speaking world by Vanity Fair magazine. It is a series of questions that are meant to reveal more about a person’s inner thoughts, feelings, and preferences.

So, in the spirit of getting to know each other better, I thought I would answer the questions myself!

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Peace! For me, peace is a form of luxury because in this hectic world, it does not come easy.

What is your greatest fear?

To experience the loss of a close family member. For years I kept my cell phone on vibrate at night. It was placed on my nightstand so that I can hear it in case of an emergency. That fear was realized when I unexpectedly lost my mother this year at the age of 67.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I am a perfectionist and tend to obsess over making sure everything is perfect. It’s not a trait that I deplore so much, but I am happy when allow myself to relax a bit.

 What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Selfishness. I am kind and generous, so I have a hard time with people who can be helpful in any way (big or small), but refuse to.

Which living person do you most admire?

Mandy Aftel. She is a famous perfumer, and a woman who I have admired for several years. I had the pleasure of meeting her several times as I trained with her in the art of fragrance. I now consider her a friend. 

What is your greatest extravagance?

My custom closet. For years I have wanted a custom closet. We purchased a new home in January of 2022 and my wish came true. As a matter of fact, I not only have a custom closet, I also have a custom lab, which is a double bonus!

What is your current state of mind?

Peace and contentment. But, I am always seeking out opportunities to grow as well.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

For the most part, I believe that virtues are positive, however assertiveness is a virtue that can sometimes be overrated if misused. 

On what occasion do you lie?

If I had to exaggerate the truth, it would be to protect another person’s feelings.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

In my younger years I would say something silly like my nose, but as a mature adult, I can honestly say that I love everything about myself. Flaws and all.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Confidence and leadership. I like a man who is a leader of the household, not so much financially, but he makes sure I feel safe and secure. I love confidence as well because it makes me feel good to know that my man can hold his head up high and be comfortable with exactly who he is.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

I like a woman who has class and confidence, who knows who she is and is unapologetic about it.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

The greatest love of my life is my daughter. I gave birth to her at 16 years old and my whole world changed for the better.

When and where were you happiest?

I am happiest at home relaxing in my cozy bed with my husband and puppy at the end of a full day. It’s peaceful and we are all content. 

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love to have the talent of an opera singer and the ability to use my voice as an instrument.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I love myself just as I am, but sometimes a bit too easy going, which can sometimes lead to my generosity being misused.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Raising a healthy, talented, educated and well rounded daughter in spite of her father serving life in prison. It was not easy, but I believe I did well.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I would come back as a tree in a forest.

Where would you most like to live?

Having traveled the world, I would most like to live in Costa Rica. It’s peaceful, my skin loves the climate, and I feel very happy and content there.

What is your most treasured possession?

My mother’s wedding ring, which was removed from her figure before I said my final goodbye.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Not having any semblance of peace.

What is your favorite occupation?

My favorite occupation is Perfumer. I love creating and blending something interesting and lovely.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I am bubbly, animated and most always happy.

What do you most value in your friends?


Who are your favorite writers?

Tony Morrison, Mya Angelou, and Jackie Collins. 

Who is your hero of fiction?

Wonder Woman

Who are your heroes in real life?

Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama

What is it that you most dislike?

I most dislike an unkempt environment. I’m a bit OCD!

What is your greatest regret?

My greatest regret is not having more children.

What is your motto?

My motto for years has been dare to dream and embrace the possibilities. Too often, people will dream about something, but when given the opportunity to fulfill that dream, they often feel shy away from it.

So now that you know a little bit about me, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to answer any of these questions in the comments below!